Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by extreme self-centeredness and an inflated sense of self-importance. People who have this disorder often lack empathy towards others, have a constant need for admiration and attention, and may struggle with maintaining healthy relationships as they tend to put their own needs above those of others. They may also exhibit grandiosity, arrogance, entitlement and try to manipulate situations or people to their liking. The condition is named after the Greek mythological figure Narcissus, who was known for his excessive admiration of himself. While some level of self-love can be healthy; in individuals whose narcissistic tendencies are severe- it can lead to significant impairment in personal life & professional endeavors .
1. If you are a people pleaser and an empath then you are a dream come true for a narcissist. Their massive ego requires ego stroking and they will be in constant demand of admiration, appreciation and attention. One minute they may play out as being extremely confident but the next they may play a different card and play on your sympathies to gain what they seek. They will attempt to manipulate your emotions with guilt if you begin to withdraw and they will use your kindness as weakness against you!
2. Narcissists place a lot of effort into their appearance to attract attention and may seem overly confident, present, or intelligent. These characteristics are not true to form but are a result of an internal ego battle. Typically, narcissists carry insecurities that stem from deep internal wounds, but they refuse to take responsibility for their inner work. They believe that if they appear confident (which is the opposite of what actually happens), attractive (dressing well and looking good), and intelligent (acting like they know everything) then all of these things will mask them from the enormous amount of insecurities they have which originate from deep internal wounds that were never healed properly.
3. Narcissists are people who care about how they are viewed. They may go to great lengths to convince others that they’re good, but their behaviour will not be congruent throughout other areas of their life. The difference between a narcissist and an actual good guy or girl is that the narcissist’s behaviour will not be congruent throughout other areas of their life. They may seem incredible on the outside world, but what happens behind closed doors can be a very different experience.
4. Narcissists are master manipulators. They most likely have convinced themselves and you that they are all things fabulous. They tend to be smooth talkers, know what to say when, and seem to give you their undivided attention. This focus can make you feel extremely special. However, when their focus is on you, it is not actually about you. Instead, it’s about manipulating you to meet their needs. Once they have captivated you, the job of manipulation becomes much more accessible through a variety of tactics such as gaslighting or love bombing (a sudden extreme interest in someone).
5. If you are incredibly compassionate, trusting, generous, vulnerable and only like to see the best in people then you are a perfect match for a narcissist. They have finely tuned senses to target those who live with their hearts on their sleeves and are gifted in searching out those that they can manipulate. Over-givers are prime commodities for narcissists because they take advantage of them more than anyone else. The more you offer up, the more they take from you.
6. It can be challenging when living or dealing with a narcissist since others may only see what the narcissist projects as his/her truth. It can feel isolating and confusing when you live with a different version of someone that others do not see. Narcissists are masters at projecting an image to control how they’re seen in the world, which is why it’s so important to learn more about them and their behaviour patterns if you want to break free from this cycle.
7. Narcissists can be energy vampires. They are masterful at directing energy toward themselves, and the more energy you give them, the more they will take. Think about those times when you have a conversation with someone, and you leave feeling inspired and satisfied. Then think about those times when you speak with someone for a few minutes, and you feel drained and fatigued. Each time we interact with another living thing, we exchange energy. This dynamic can be a balanced and reciprocal exchange – but not always! Narcissists are masters of manipulation who know how to get what they want from others without giving anything in return; they feed off of our attention while simultaneously draining us.
8. Narcissistic people are entitled and think they deserve to be treated like royalty. They have deep-seated insecurities but won’t admit it, take responsibility for it, or spend any time working through the process of healing them. They carry a sense of entitlement and believe they’re owed everything. They insist on being treated like a king (or queen) and require excessive admiration.
They contain a deep well of needs that can never be satiated and will do anything to keep up their image as perfect – even if it means hurting others in the process.
9. Narcissists are often self-absorbed and can be difficult to deal with. They live in an alternate reality where they think the world revolves around them, which can be challenging for those who have to interact with them. Narcissists will always put their needs first, belittling the needs of others. You may feel like you have to fight for your own importance or pick your battles wisely when it comes to dealing with a narcissist!
This challenge can feel defeating, and either way, this would not be an easy win and you may begin to experience extreme fatigue, irritability, or even chronic anger.
10. Narcissists are experts at captivating you and playing on emotions by being very present, affectionate, or attentive then they may withdraw completely, leaving you craving more! The most potent form of conditioning is called intermittent reinforcement. When others are dedicated to us, it can feel amazing, and narcissists know this. This behaviour is a powerful tactic in manipulation and leaves you actually chasing them! This can lead to more people pleasing tactics as you may be wondering what you need to do to get the reward of their attention again. If you are feeling emotionally drained, check in to see if your real needs are being met
The above are just a small range of range of behaviours that Narcissists exhibit. However, the most telling factor in your relationship with them is how they make you feel. If you find yourself constantly doubting yourself, drained of energy, disrespected and unheard or overwhelmed by their needs to the point where it has caused isolation from your true self- it’s time to consider deeper soul healing. Even after months or years post-relationship with a narcissist – these feelings may persist as remnants of the trauma suffered. You deserve healthy relationships filled with love, respect & mutual care regardless of whether its personal or professional settings .
If narcissistic relationships have left you feeling lost and unsure of your next steps, then let me help guide you towards a brighter future. Book your complimentary Soul Compass call today and discover the tools you need to move forward. I will work with you one-on-one to understand your needs, identify your strengths, and develop an action plan for healing. You don’t have to do this alone – I am here for you every step of the way. Schedule your free call now and start reclaiming control over your life.